Looking at love and those in relationships its easy to say, “I want to be married” but is that actually what we want. When it comes down to actually getting married it is a completely different matter entirely. No longer does the naïve thoughts and daydreams of a seamless union between two souls exist. All thought about the serenity of living together disappears and seems to be replaced by anxiety and a feeling of uncertainty. Commitment seems like too much to ask, responsibility seems like a never-ending nightmare, and the happiness of being in a relationship with the one you love seems to die away. Why is this? Has love magically evaporated over the unusually short time span of realizing that a marriage is not only possible but imminent with your lover. Or is it that all good things have an opposite, and the nature of evil is to ruin good.
The sea of love and growing intimacy that once used to be so calm can be easily disrupted by fear. Thoughts of am I with the right person, and is it worth risking my future to enter into a covenant that I have been told since adolescence is dying? To understand this dramatic shift in thinking the concept of love must be understood. Love isn’t simply a feeling its a desire to sacrifice. This doesn’t line up very well when applied to the feelings we are taught equate to love, however it is true. Emotions can come and go and feelings fade, but what stays around for a lifetime is commitment and commitment is a choice. Choosing takes courage, a courage that is bottled up, demeaned, and labeled as archaic in todays world. Its all about me, what I feel, what I think, these types of thoughts are brainwashed into us as we grow up and so we take them into our love life. Is it worth it for me to get married? Am I with the right person? We are taught to evaluate love as a selfish form of satisfaction; however, love is really the ability to choose sacrifice and to deny selfish pleasure for another. At some point you won’t want to do something for you significant other, and if they are truly meant for you then you will find a desire inside of yourself to sacrifice for them even when it doesn’t line up with your agenda. Is marriage daunting? Yes. But I would argue that marriage, even young marriage should be encouraged and supported, because without a support system and a culture of true love, marriage will cease to exist and will be replaced by a culture of cohabitation and selfishness.