Tag Archives: Light

A Thought on Drive

I recently have been pondering the meaning of living as well as searching for the substance of the soul in my life.  What fills me up? As a college student I am constantly asked to question my future.  What does it hold? Where will I be? What will I be doing? As these ponderings rush through my head I am swept up into a whirlwind of possibilities, a wonderful weightless disappearance into the world of tomorrow and as my feet touch down I am given to following them out.  But what merit do they hold?  What could I possibly gain from following a single one of my future aspirations? Fame… Glory… Riches… A sense of pride and self worth?  These are ideas constantly fed to me by the elders around me.

I have bought into an idea for as long as I can remember, that I would be happy as long as I am pursuing something. That I am achieving the greatest platform of my existence while on the path of driven motivated action.  It happens so subtly.  As if a foggy dream world slowly slipped in over me when I was sleeping and instead of reality filling me up I am lost pursuing foggy shadows of a world with meaning unto itself.  I discovered a lack of meaning associated with a lack of pursuit.  In other words if I wasn’t doing I wasn’t valuable, and this theory is taught to us by every facet of human existence.

If we are not achieving than we are committing ourselves to laziness and will become that man on the side of the street that does absolutely nothing with his life.  I find this model very disturbing for several reasons.  First of all it bases our structure of fulfillment on ever-changing variables in the sense that what we are taught to value is always changing.  Whether that be our own changing desires and dreams, or the ever changing industry or vehicle of our achievement. The basis for our fulfillment is on an ever- shifting platform of uneasy footing.  Secondly I do not believe that my greatest fulfillment comes in a moment of my own doing; that the highest form of success is tied up in in the standards put forth by those around me.

I have realized that it is easy to become engrained in the tide of humanity rushing for this concept.  It is very fulfilling to accomplish something and I am not proposing that an accomplishment in and of itself is bad; however, when accomplishing becomes our fulfillment we have crossed a line.  Crossing that line puts us in a slowly deteriorating system of thought that drains us of our willpower, sucks us into repetitive action, and drags us down into confusion disorientation and a feeling of emptiness.  At the end of the day I want to be able to sit there, do nothing, and feel content complete and fulfilled.  I can often feel this way when I have had a very productive day, and the desire to work is God given, but fulfillment comes from a source outside of ourselves, not from achievement.  My priorities need to be in alignment in order for me to live life to the fullest and to achieve a consistent productive sense of living.  Not productive in terms of the worlds elaborate structure of doing, but productive in the areas of, Jesus, Family, and Relationship.  If I base my fulfillment on a rock unmoving than I will be more likely to succeed in my other pursuits and I will have lived a life worth living.  I refuse to be locked in a constantly shifting sense of fulfillment.  I will focus on what really matters, so that I will never become confined to the ideal of success taught to me by my surroundings, and I will transcend doing and achieve true fulfillment in the ideal of relationship.

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Bubbles and Little Girls

This little girl is so beautiful…  I hope my daughter radiates God’s grace in her life like this little girl.

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Seasons

Recently thoughts of dissatisfaction with where I am in life crept up on me and for a while I listened to them and strove after what I felt was the goal but then I had a lesson on seasons.  Seasons can seem confusing when we are not satisfied with trusting something higher than ourselves, because we must be able to figure it out right?  We have to know where we are going how fast we are going there and if we are measuring up to the standards of all those living around us. What I did not realize is that the need to use logic to know and to reach a firm conclusion of my entire life’s goal is a feeble attempt at control.  “If I only knew why God did certain things I would be okay with it” is in essence saying, “If God fits into my window of understanding I will let him do what he does without a fight.”  Anxiety comes from a spirit that needs to know.

Because of the way we as a culture have evolved we have lost sight of the importance of seasons. Before the industrial revolution hit we relied on the seasons, winter for rest, summer for work, spring for cultivation, and fall for harvesting, but due to changes in society we no longer value the seasons except for maybe their beauty.  What we don’t understand is that the concept of the season has a profound impact on our lives every day and so without this understanding we are content to meander through life without truly divining the season we are in and pursuing it.  I believe that nature is a parallel in many ways to the nature within us.  We are constantly on a journey in life and on this journey we are constantly moving through seasons of change.  The very belief that we are on a journey implies change.  So if we are going through seasons, should we not put our minds to rest in that we are in a season, and that season is where we need to be. With contentment comes understanding and peace.  The earth has no say in what season it is undergoing at a certain point in time, but that does not mean it cannot benefit from its time in each season, and that it is in a specific season for a reason.

Seasons of growth are ruined by jealousy.  If I am in a season of harvesting in my life and am reaping the benefits of what I have sown and yet am looking at someone else in a season of rest and put myself in a state of rest I am ruining my season.  When I try and put myself in a season other than my own I am missing out on what the season I am in is offering me.  Because of this realization I must be content with the season that I am in, which means releasing control of my path and pursuing  meaning in my current circumstances.  Submission to the seasons of life releases stress and promotes a contentment and inner peace that I am where I need to be and if I feel out of place I am simply trying to be somewhere I am not.

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Autumn Lights

I have a high value for creativity, and I have recently developed a love of art. I am not only interested in the famous paintings of renaissance artists but I am particularly keen on the work of amazing captivators. Thats ultimately what art is, the pursuit of expressing a thought idea or image in a way that expresses beauty and draws in and captivates the common observer. Art isn’t just the ability to apply a medium to a piece of paper or a canvas in a certain style it is the ability to, produce, express, or portray a realm, according to aesthetic principles, of what is beautiful, appealing, or of more than ordinary significance. Art is the science of significance. It is the ability to recognize and display or draw attention to significance. Art is made infinitely more meaningful if the artist is revealing a believe an ideal or a fascinating spectacle. This art piece really captured my imagination because it makes me feel as if I am sitting on a bench right after a thunderstorm at night with a cool breeze observing the lights. Lights are something we take for granted often their beauty is mistaken for functionality. There is something profoundly beautiful and captivating about the ingenuity of man to make light, and taking time to observe the little things is something I truly value.

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